Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Life for me always seems to be at a breakneck speed. There is always friend's visiting, trips for work coming up and the insane schedule that means for me, committing to keeping this blog updated, and staying in touch with all the fun kinksters that I come to know in the last few years. From the perspective of someone on the outside it would seem I would eventually hit a wall and need to slow down.
Truth is from time to time I do. This last August I hit a wall of just being weary of it all, especially given the heavy summer travel for work I had, and I needed to reset the old brain. At first I just vegged for a while on a home vacation, which helped, but in the end that just is shut down mode. I needed something to refill the fire in me.
Then I started talking with Master Cory, who some of you know from some of my videos earlier this year (aka BindNlock). He invited me to come visit him for a weekend as his boy, which i jumped right at the chance to do. Turned out to be just what the doctor ordered.
In the coming weeks I will be writing about some of those experiences, leading up to the weekend, the weekend itself, and my some of my thoughts since then.
For those that are looking for a porn story just to jack off to, well, I will try to make something in it for you, but I also hope that I share something as a part of myself and who I really am.
I for see a few parts of this story to be written over the course of the next couple of weeks, so keep a watch out for that.
Earlier this year I was in DC for work and was talking with a few of the local kinksters in the area about playing. One pup in particular, WOOFnDC, I had wanted to play with because we had spoken a few months earlier when he was in Seattle but I was swamped with other things and couldn't play with him. Ended up having him over a few times during my week in DC, and it was fun not only to play but to get to know him a little as well. He is a sweet puppy, as well a very hot boy as you will see in the videos.
Plus he is a vocal pup that knows how to bark properly, which is a huge turn on as well.
For this first one we started off easy, with just some bondage, latex and a forced bj. He looks great in his gear, especially in my favorite bondage position, a hogtie.
We will be hitting some more bondage, electro and puppy play in the upcoming videos, so stay tuned for those!
Direct Link to video
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
So I recently spent some time pontificating on the leather community and what it means to me as someone who is a regular player in the kink world. I wanted to see if anyone else felt as I did about what the "Leather Community" means to us, so I reached out to 20 people that I have know for a while to ask them if they wanted to write something about what it means to them.
The problem is that every single one of them said the same thing. The leather community in their respective regions means nothing to them and they have nothing to write about. There isn't even a resentment or strong negative feels, just an overall antipathy and really couldn't muster anything else to add.
And these are true players and well known people in the kink world, and the leather community who prop themselves up as leaders are supposed to be representing. They have said they the true players, they are out there having classes on how to perform the kinks properly, and holding the events that everyone goes to but ignore the official functions of. Yet the people I have come to know and respect want to have nothing to do with the "leather community".
For myself, I wanted to try. I had joined the leather community in the local area hoping for mentorship or leadership, someone to show me the way, but it turned into something really challenging. I felt like I got burned, and not because of why in that community may think is the reason.
I had always hoped for someone to come over to say, hey here is a little direction, let me show you the way, in the same sort of way I have heard others get. They talk about their leather . But instead I walked away because I didn't know how to ask for that, and no longer being young enough to attract it, or never having been pretty enough to demand it, I don't expect I ever will find that sort of leadership for myself. But I do know it was never offered to me. Instead it just turned ugly.
I have recently tried to reach out in my own way, to work on developing my own direction on what it means to have a leather family. For now I will feel my own way out for it, as that is the only real option for now.
For myself, I am tired of hearing the gossip, and hearing that despite the fact that I distanced myself and kept to myself after pulling back from the leather community, people still are talking shit about me. I only ever wanted to help, and have regretted it ever since I did.
I know there are others out there that have felt as I have. I know they hoped to find something there and disappointed that it wasn't what they thought it was going to be. I hope one day this leather community learns how to reach out and hold onto those that are eager and need direction, to live up to the potential of their words when they adorn themselves with the mantle of leaderhsip.
Because right now they are missing out on a very dynamic world, a world full of the best and most talented players I have luckily come to call friends.
So a few months ago I got the chance to meet a fun rubberman, Atlantarubber. I was in town for work and starting talking with him about some play. He was a great host who picked me up from my hotel and made sure we covered all the bases first before we played. I have always had a bit of challenge playing with people I don't know, especially as a sub, but he made it really comfortable. After the play was over I got a chance to meet his partner as well, and we all sat around chatting for a while, and I found them to be great, hot guys that were just as perverted as I am!
I will be posting some photos from the play session shortly.
You should check out his blog, which has full of photos of his play with his partner and his pup, as well as a variety of other subjects, with a great deal of personal insight into their kinks. I have been enjoying following the blog, and highly recommend checking it out.
Also, while I am at it I should also mention his pup's blog, which has been a great read as well. He is a hot pup and looks great in his gear, so check his out as well.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
One of the fun things about being an active gay kinkster is recognizing just how different that life is from the average person. Part of what makes it all exciting is being in a secret world and doing activities that most people would shocking, and in many cases just down-right scary.
In this particular video I think we can highlight one of those types of differences.
Your average person out there, you see, would be horrified to learn that they accidentally bruised the balls of a friend they were having a sexual experience with.
I took it as a badge of honor!
My friend Kinkidiver, whom I have known now since I first got into BDSM/Leather/Rubber and invited me to my first rubber play party, also is the one that introduced me to real CBT. Since then we have been enjoying exploring that more and more. It has been a great way for me to become a better ball torture bottom to submit to him, and even better to be able to turn the table right after and get to top him.
In this video you will see a scene with just Kinkidiver on the bottom, though I was in the same position and in very similar gear just prior to this and experienced mostly the same scene. While not exceptionally creative on my part, I have found it to be mentally very stimulating for me to get my revenge directly.
Kinkidiver, and his partner (whom I think is turning into a great pup) are wonderful friends that I really enjoy having in my life.
A note of caution to the viewers out there. I have been smacking around a lot of balls lately, and for those out there a little curious about it I am happy to give you a demo of why it is so damn fun. However, Kinkidiver is a pro and can take ball torture like no one else. It isn't my goal to bruise the balls of every boy out there, and only because he and I have developed this type of connection can it even be possible.
So for the curious, you would get the training wheels. And for the twisted fucks out there, you get to the front of the line!
And the squeamish should probably just closer their eyes
Direct Link to video
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Well, I am happy to say that today there was a hit on one of the flyers we dropped in the mailboxes of everyone in the neighborhood, and turns out it was the real thing. Our buddy is home again, and on my lap as I write this. It has been a great relief for both of us to have him back.
So with that, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I want to show appreciation for all the messages I have received recently from the fans of the blog. I have been very humbled by how many of you are out there, and received nothing but positive messages from everyone.
In the last week I have been avoiding the blog because my mind has been consumed with one thing. Our cat got out; he is only ever been an indoor cat, and has been missing now for over a week. We have done a great many things trying to get him back, but unfortunately he simply has disappeared.
Now, at the risk of becoming a "cat person", the reality is that he was our little buddy that hangs with my partner and I, just one of the guys, and truly one of the coolest cats I have ever had. Since he acted more like a dog than a cat probably also adds to the sense loss as well.
But even though our buddy is missing, we have to continue on and I need to get back to the reasons why I started this in the first place.
So time to get back at it, thanks for everyone for your patience and understanding.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
For a couple of weeks now there has been a problem with Xtube, which I have been using to host my videos. Unfortunately it would seem that when the video is played it won't stream in fully, stops early, and locks up the browser at some point.
At first I thought it was a problem on my end, but after discussing with numerous people it would seem that this is a wide spread problem. Choosing different browsers didn't seem to solve the issue, nor does clearing out the browser history and temp files.
I am pretty sure this means there is a problem on xtube's side, and going to give it a little more time before I look to another solution for hosting my videos. Especially given that I have at least a dozen in the cue for you guys, and very much looking forward to getting them out!
Will keep you updated.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
The first batch of photos of some of the fun at the New World Rubbermen play weekend held recently. Thank you to all the people who shared their photos with the rest of the group that shared their photos with me and allowing me to post them here, as well as being a part of a truly great weekend.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
This last weekend during the annual New World Rubbermen Weekend, which was held at Rubberasylum and Wetsuitjay's home, I had the opportunity to rediscover an old submissive side of myself that I haven't delved into for a while.
Now, overall I was not as Dominant as I usually am at events or in my personal life. I suppose that came from the work I have been doing in the last six month, where I have been tasked with leading a team of a couple dozen individuals in my professional life. I can be hard sometimes to always be "on", so it was nice to not for a while.
I got a chance to spend a little time as a pup. There is a local Sir who was at the party for only a short time, Sir Randy. He has two pups that are friends I have known for a long time, and Sir has had several conversations with me about being a pup for him at some point. We just haven't had a chance to make it happen.
So when he came up to me to ask if I would be a pup it was a special moment for me. I got into some rubber, borrowed a hood and found my mitts, and brought them to him. It was all I had with me at the time.
There was some memories that were coming up as he was locking on the mitts, and fitting the hood, memories of back when I was first getting into pup play. The excitement of it all, the drive to find my inner instinct and let normal flow of thoughts melt away.
For each pup the headspace is different, or at least described differently. For me, it is all about instinct. When I am in pup mode I let go of the reasoning part of my head, the memories an the analyzing, and go instantly with what the animal part of my brain wants. Follow Sir. Jump. Lick. Bark. Play. Sit. Scratch.
The attraction of this, the reason why so many pups love this kind of play, is simple. It is living in the moment.
I wish I could tell you much of what happened next but it became a blur of emotions. Pride. Nervous. Playful. Horny. Warm. Scared. Loved.
But the mechanics of what happened I lost. I know we went upstairs, there was some people near by, but can't remember exactly who at the party saw me as a pup as I wasn't paying attention. I know a set of football shoulder pads where put on me, I know I got petted by a few people, and I remember Sir scratching my head a lot, but after that I lost most of it.
When I came out of it, when Sir was taking off the gear and telling me it was time to come back, my normal thoughts started sticking again, the flow of instinct rescinded back to the background, to the part of my brain where it quietly suggests rather than controls who I am.
I didn't think it was possible to go back there, but glad to find I still had the ability.
So thank you Sir for giving me that opportunity! I can't wait for the next chance I get to explore this.
And I look forward to working with some other pups to find the same opportunities to find their inner instinct.
Before I close, I want to share two things.
I have kept some people at arm's length at times, due at least in part because I have carried hurt feelings, and more than a little guilt for having them, around with me in regards to someone I was once close to. It may still be a little too soon to say finding my pup again lead me to remember that the Now is what is important, but it had to have at least helped. I spent the next night speaking to the person who I had once blamed for my hurt feelings, and apologized for wasting such time. For that I am grateful.
And finally, I have a photo to share form this moment with my football buddy, Kip.