I have seen from time to time others in the worlds of blogs, profile, or social media where people say they are going on a break from what they are doing. Part of me at the time when I see others do that I would think, "I hope that never happens to me".
I love to have so many things going on my life, and always have. And I certainly have a lot in my life. Aside from a husband that makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world, I also have a puppy who has a wonderful knack for just getting me unlike anyone else and I love him for it, and new boy that I am starting to get to know as my own special boy. Then there is a job that keeps a me on my toes because there is so much going on. And then there is the world that people see, in this blog, in my twitter profile, and of course the recent attempt to create a podcast.
At the core of all that I have come to discover that there are some portions of my own self identity and how I feel about who I am as a person, as a husband, as a Sir, as a Daddy, as a professional and as a broadcaster that I not entirely sure are in-line with who I really want to be. The identities are correct, but I am not sure my motivations are in line with what I want. And if they are not, then I am not being my genuine self.
I want to take a moment to speak specifically about one piece of my identity that I need to really need to take stock on: a podcast broadcaster. To do a talk radio show has been a dream of mine for a very long time, and the last few months of doing the Asylum Cast has been a wonderful experience for me. The passion I have tried to put into this show, and the work that goes into it every week, is driven from a desire to live this dream, and meet some basic goals that I have felt the kink community needs.
A forum to hear voices that you don't hear from everyday
A place where people can hear the message that to be a kinkster is an valid way to live your life if you choose
A show that information can be shared and discussed to make us all better kinksters
A voice of the community that represents the fun of what we do
In some ways, we have started all that with the show, and for those that have loved the show the response has been incredible. I am so thankful to all of you who have shown your support for what we have created so far.
However, when we look at the number of people that are access the show, we can recognize that there are more than are turning off the show than are turning it on. It truly breaks my heart to say that, but the truth is sometimes hard to recognize. This isn't one of those times, and the message is clear.
We just are not hitting the mark on what we wanted to do.
So, with that I have decided now is the time to take stock in a lot of what I am pouring my passions and my time into, and make sure my priorities are not only in the right order, but also realistic.
I don't know if this means the show is done. I really don't know at this point. I do know it needs to be re-tooled and approached in a different way. So we are going to go on hiatus for a couple of months, and see what happens from there. We may try again, but with a different focus. We may completely change the show. Or we may do something completely different.
So for now, I am taking a break from the podcast, and this blog as well. The blog was always going to be a vehicle for a podcast, so they have always been tied together for me. And to take stock properly of what I want out of one means the other will need a break as well.
Sometime in August I will be back. Until then, I truly wish everyone out there to have at least as wonderful and fortunate life as I have managed to have.