NoSafeWord has Moved!

We finally have been able to move everything over to our new site, which is located at:

www.nosafeword.com

Everything from the old blog has been moved over to there, plus a bunch new content. Please change your book marks to nosafeword.com

See you all there!

So close I can taste it!

Hey everyone out there!

I have not been posting content lately because we have been working on a lot of details for the new site, and you won't believe what we have in store for you. Just to get you all ready, here are a few highlights:

New Site!
This entire blog will be moving over to NoSafeWord.com, so be sure to mark your browsers and feed readers to the new location. We hope to be fully up and running in a couple of weeks and so much looking forward to the new site. We will announce the new move soon. 

New Podcast!
The new NoSafeWord Podcast is coming soon. We have been recording some shows to have ready, with about 8 shows waiting, and we will push those out over time. The whole purpose of the podcast will be to talk to and hear from all the different voices out there in the kink world that make up the wide variety of fun being had. We want to talk to all kinds of kinksters, be they newbies or established with many years of experience, amateurs and pro, kinky vendors, the celebs and title holders, as well as the people who just do this because it is fun. Anyone reading this could be a guest on the show, and we think this is going to be a path to seeing what is really happening out there in the kink world!

All the old posts, with better access
All of the posts from this blog will be available on the new site, with better tools to find the past posts and browse around. If you just want to get to the videos, you can do that! 

Tying in GuysTiedUp.com
Not only will you get all of this blogs past content, but the Bndgkid run website called GuysTiedUp.com will also be in the collection on NoSafeWord.com. That is twice the amount of content than before, and we also be bringin in so many ways to search and find the content of all those great scenes! 

All new content coming too!
We have weeks of new content waiting to go, once the new site is launched we will be bringing you new videos, pics and stories! 

Stay tuned!

Reader Submission: How to get over fear

I recently received a message from a reader as a follow up from the last blog post. While we are working away here at NoSafeWord HQ to update to the new site and the new podcast, I decided to take some time to respond to him in the hopes that it may help him out a bit. If anyone has anything further to add, please send it in, and of course happy to hear from any of our readers with any questions you may have.

I am a long time reader of your blog, and a fellow blogger, I own the BearPaul blog here:

http://bearpaul.blogspot.ie/

While I’m a long time reader of your blog, I don’t think I’ve ever written to you before, but I’ve just read your new article about being safe with a  new play partner and I hope you don’t mind but I thought I’d bounce my issue off you and see if you can give me some good advice.  By all means, if you don’t not wish to respond, no worries.

I have a high fetish drive, I like bondage, hoods, collars, cages, etc.  But I’ve never played with anyone before.  Part of this reason is my bad body-image self-esteem, I don’t believe I am attractive, but I have over the years had a few guys hit on me, big player guys who wanted to secure me in leather, rope and/or chains.  These offers have been very few and far between and the guys who made them, some I have come to know online and consider friends, other were guys just hitting on me on sites/forums/Scruff/etc.

It ALWAYS excites me to get these offers, it is great to know that there are guys out there who want to play rough with me and yes, I want to play rough with them too, but here’s the thing…

In your article, which I found a great read and very informative, you said over and over again, if your gut tells you something is wrong, walk away.  Well…  My problem is my gut is over protective.  These offers of play I’ve had, some were made by guys I’d formed really good friendships with online (for the record, I’ve never been made an offer to play in person).  As I said above, these offers always excite me, it’s great to know guys want to play with me.  Woof Woof!!  But EVERYTIME I get a play offer, my gut is the one in bondage because it ties itself up in knots as a horde of butterflies invaid my tummy and the excitement I get from the offer is overpowered by fear.

I am approaching my 37th birthday and am very alone and I fear if I can’t find a way to conquer, or at least control, this over protective gut, I’m going to be alone forever.  Some of my online friends who have offered me play, I have got to know them online and trust them, but as excited as the idea of being tied up by these people is to me, the fact is, once I’m tied up I’m at their mercy and while I trust these people and count them as friends, it’s a HUGE step to actually put myself into their control, even if it is something I REALLY want to do!!

You did mention in your article about play parties.  I live in Ireland and don’t know of any such things here.  I do see these seminars advertised at places in the States, but not here.  If Ireland has such venues, they are the best kept secret then the location of a leprechaun crock of gold!  LOL!!

Do you have any ideas on how to tame my over protective gut?  My 37th birthday is approaching and it’s not old, but with each passing year my fears of forever being alone are growing.  I need to find a way to accept an offer to play, but how can I do that?

Sorry for bothering you.  All the best for 2013.

Thank you for sending in your note, BearPaul, and I get where you are coming from. I am not sure that what I have is good advice; I don't think that I am very good at that. The only thing I can hope for is that maybe some of my own story can help a little bit.

Often I hear of headspace talked about for a number of different kinks. There is definitely a pup headspace, or furries, or domestic boys, abdl, slaves, pigs, or any other kinds of kinks that involve using the ability to detach from our daily selves and just be in the moment, to be a part of something bigger than just ourselves. Headspace is a great mental playspace for those that engage in it (I think that the most versatile headspace is the Dom headspace, but that is for another post).

What we haven't talked a lot about is the headspace for bondage, but there is certainly one. I will explain how it works for me: I recently had a couple of sessions with a great local top that kept me in various forms of bondage, all the while using and abusing various parts of me. He would hit me, crush my nuts, put me in strenuous positions, and several other techniques to push me to the edge. Of all the things he made me do, one of the most difficult was for me to look him in the eye while he did something to me.

It is very challenging for me, as is for a lot of people, to look another in the eye when they have a singular focus on you. And to be able to return the gaze, with confidence knowing that it is best for me, and that in that very moment of vulnerability, when someone can see me and not the persona I project all day, that is a moment when I can physically feel my inner steel become stronger. And that steel, that core of my fiber of being that makes me who I am, that is what gives me strength to do hard work, to be there for those that depend on me, and to handle the challenges and disappointments that inevitably come to all of us.

And that strength of the inner steel is what makes me want to go back to Him, to ask for another session, ring the door bell, go into the dungeon space where no one can hear my screams, and let myself be tempered again. That is the nature of my bondage headspace. It makes me stronger.

Right now, your inner steel is weak. It has been battered by years of self-doubt, and from what I have seen in your blog in past posts, self-esteem issues due to your own body image. That inner steel, that core fiber of being, has been put to the test before. You made a commitment to lose weight and work on yourself, and looks like you were greatly successful with that. And you must also rely on your inner steel as a weapon to handle the various challenges of the day: work, family, traffic, cooking, car payments, jackass neighbors, whatever. It requires a portion of our inner strength to power through the things we must do every day.

But any tool, for that is exactly what this inner steel I am talking about is, a tool, any tool will only ever be able to handle as much as you give it. It is a sword that becomes dull if it isn't tempered and sharpened. It is a muscle that weakens if only ever used but not fueled and challenged to grow. If we don't find a way to grow that which makes us able to face fears and overcome challenges, then it will only ever be able to handle the mundane, and never be ready to handle the big stuff when they come.

The bondage boy headspace is all about finding that inner core and tempering it, working it over and over to make it stronger. Those that approach their bondage sessions as a moment to test character, to challenge themselves to go longer in bondage without panicking, to take more hits and harder hits to the balls than ever before, to endure electro, take the fucking of a life time, to allow that fist inside them, each and every one of those scenarios is a moment of someone becoming a little bit stronger, a little more tempered, a little more ready to take the next challenge.

Now I could tell you that you just need to man up and submit to someone, just fucking open the damn door for yourself and do it. I could smack you upside the head and tell you that what you are feeling is ridiculous, because your fears really are unfounded and you already know that. You pretty well gave me every good reason why you would be just fine with the people that have already offered play as they have become people you know a bit and trust in their ability. And you have given me no good reason why anyone that has offered you play would be someone to fear. I could just kick your ass and say just fucking do it and you will see you that fear you felt was not worth controlling you, and that doing something even when scary isn't as hard as you think it is.

But I am not going to do that.

Instead, I am just going to tell you this one thing. Everything, everything, everything in life gets better when you learn how to make your inner steel stronger. You are not ruled by fear. You feel  the ability to dream bigger than you had before, and do what is necessary to make the dreams come true. You do the hard work that may not be fun but moves you closer to doing things much more fun, like attending big events or vacations. You find your capacity to be loving and lovable is stronger than ever.

When I have said the most wonderful, strong, loving, interesting and dynamic people I know are ones in this kink community I really meant it. They are the ones that are working on strengthen that inner steel, by either challenging themselves or challenging others as Doms. They are people that garner trust and have good reputations as players BECAUSE they do this, and the more they work on it, the stronger their steel becomes, and the better they are for it.

I can't tell you how to deal with the fear you have. I can't give you a way around it, or a way to get rid of it. No emotion can be squashed or erased or ignored. They are what they are and they are there to be confronted when wrong, or cherished with they are right.

The only way you are going to get what you want, to realize these fantasies you have, is if you come to realize what a bunch of us have come to realize for ourselves, and what anyone realizes when they must face their fears and do what must be done despite the fear:

The reward for facing your fears is always greater than the risk.

If you go into a scene knowing that you will be better for it, knowing there is a better life at the other end, and that that life for yourself is going to better than never tasking the risk, never playing with others, never working on strengthening your inner steel, if you go into your first scene with the goal in mind then the fears will be outweighed. 

Focus on that and you will use your fear, rather than it using you. 

World Aids Day

Today is Worlds Aids Day, the day to raise awareness of the impact of Aids and HIV in the world.

For myself, I remember coming into the gay community at a time when HIV was something that will take your life, often quickly. It was in a small college town in Idaho that I came out on a December day, nearly exactly 20 years ago. There was a rather robust gay community in the area, with a few student and community groups organizing events and parties. In the same week I came out the community lost a local gay man to AIDS.

He grew up in that town, and was known as one of those people that would walk into a room and everyone would know who he was in short order. He lead his life vibrantly and was loved very deeply by those around him. He was one of the lone people to appear in drag, no easy feat for being in north Idaho. To celebrate his life one year later his best friend formed a drag show with the local gay boys (I looked like a line backer in a dress, but did it to support my friends), and the event is still happening regularly to this day in that same town, with budding drag queens from all over flowing to town to create future legends. All started from the celebration of one man who touched many.

I didn't know him personally, but was there for the aftermath of his passing, which was horrible to witness. It was the same for when I moved to Seattle, where many of my new friends were those that were losing loved ones at an alarming rate just a few years before. My now-ex is a member of the Seattle Men's Chorus, an organization that at one time had as many funerals to sing at as they did concerts. And to this day I have heard of the legends of the kink community, talented practitioners of the craft, gone long before they should have.

I have been fortunate when it comes to the early impact of AIDS on our community. I haven't had to deal with that loss directly, though have had many friends who have become positive. We have very fortunately move from a time in the world when HIV has become a manageable disease for many.

But that doesn't mean it is for everyone.

The health effects can still be very difficult to deal with, but even more difficult can be the psychological effects. Even close calls can be damaging and lasting, let alone finding out that you have seroconverted. The propagation of bareback sex practices designed specifically to deceive someone into having unprotected sex is a recipe for not only keeping the focus on keeping people alive when we should be focused on a cure, the fear that the practice will further mutate the virus into something unmanageable is not entirely without merit.

We are so close, so very close, to a world with no HIV and no AIDS at all, the advancements towards a vaccine or cure is truly remarkable. At a time when we are this close, this please goes out to everyone who reads this blog:

Please practice safe sex, every time. Know your status. Be aware of risks and aware within your sexual life of the impact of your choices for yourself, and those around you. The value of a good fuck is great, but the value of human life and stepping up to take responsibility for ensuring AIDS will one day will be merely a footnote of a dark time that will not return.

Big Changes Coming SOON!

In the last few months we here at NoSafeWord have been working hard to prepare for some exciting new changes in how we deliver content to everyone. And it is all done with one goal in mind:

To bring to you the wild and wonderful world of kink! 

Not just ours, mind you. As Daddy Tony and I often say, our lives DO NOT SUCK, and for a damn good reason. We have a great family here, and an extended network of friends that can only be described as amazing. 

But we believe that the experiences we all have will become more rich and more valuable when they are shared. I am a better kinkster because of my partner, my boy, my leather brother and his boy, and all the other friends in our lives. We are going to broaden that circle to many of the kinksters we know, and some new ones we are looking to meet, all towards providing you all with a wider world of information about being the best kinksters you can be. 

So here is what we got for you coming up!

New Domain!
In the coming weeks we will be moving to the new home of NoSafeWord, which will be www.nosafeword.com! I can't tell you how excited I am about this move, which will allow us to bring better content and better ways to interact with us here at NoSafeWord HQ.

New Podcast!
As some of you may have heard, Daddy Tony and I have been recording shows in preparation for launch. Podcasts will be recorded weekly, and will involve a format of interviewing kinksters from all over: traditional leather to gear heads, the pros to the weekend warriors, elders of the community to the newbies, and everything in between. 

The new playroom is ready for recording (thanks boytrav for help on that!), new music if being created for the show (thanks rubberrodent!), logistics of various aspects of the creation are being talked about (thanks pup mikey!), and the new site is being built right now (thanks Moose Pup!). 

When the new podcast is up, you will be the first to know!

Twitter and Facebook
We are currently building out our social media content so stand by for that, but for now you can follow us all at the following accounts:

Daddy Tony - @BndgDaddy
Sparky - @SeanSparky
pup mikey - @bndgkid
boy trav - @boy_trav

There is more and more coming your way, with plans for even more to be rolled out after that! Stay tuned right here for more info!

Daddy Tony and Mikey: Froggy Bondage

A quick introduction is definitely in order!  I'm pup Mikey (aka bndgkid), and as a long time follower of Sparky, I am honored and grateful for the opportunity to become a member of the No Safe Word community!!  I look forward to sharing the adventures that our kinky family gets up to!

OK, so that's out of the way and we are all best friends now, right?  Right.  Daddy Tony and I, a couple of weeks ago, wanted to try a variation of a scene that I love on XTube by the amazing Alfredosian, but with a bit of a twist, and so Daddy broke out the duct tape while I got naked.

The process involved wrapping my arms and legs back onto themselves, which, after securing my hands in fistmitts, Daddy did just tight enough that there was a definite stretch on my muscles, but not so much that I would lose circulation or cramp up.  After my arms and legs were totally taped up, Daddy Tony put a blindfold on me, put me on my back on the bed, and then said, "Bye pup!" before gagging me tightly with the front-buckle gag.  I wriggled my stumps to try and stop him when he did that, but it didn't seem to have much use.

He then strapped my feet down to the bed, and then started on both of my legs - once he had my waist strapped down, I knew I was going to be in big trouble - I struggled as much as I could, but could only move my upper torso, my lower half was totally immobilized.  Daddy just laughed and though I couldn't see it through the blindfold, I knew exactly what his face looked like.

He then strapped my arms down, and finally, a posture collar that he then secured tightly to the frame of the bed - I was totally stuck.  I tried to struggle, because it really re-inforces the feeling in my brain that I am totally helpless right now, but aside from my hands, which were trapped inside the leather fistmitts, and I found my fingers trying to push through the mitts so that they could reach my cock - which I really really wanted to stroke right then.

Daddy could tell this, and took a little break, just sitting on the computer next to me watching me wriggle and moan into my gag frustratingly - I could hear him laughing from time to time, and wasn't sure if he was laughing at me, or at something on the computer - but have a feeling it was the former.  :)

After a while, I totally floated into subspace, and was enjoying myself immensely - and suddenly I feel Daddy's hand stroke me ever so gently - I knew what I was in for, and I was so excited!!  The edging torment began, and this always plays a mental game with me - I enjoy this so much, but especially in amazing bondage like this, I get really close, really fast.  I don't want to get in trouble for shooting without permission, so I will try and trick myself into pretending that I don't want to cum (which is not true, obviously), or something extreme like my cum is trying to be stolen from me, or it's acid and it's going to burn my stomach - weird, I know!

Daddy tormented me for what felt like hours - when I would get close, I would make this noise to let Daddy know, but he didn't really need it - he can always just tell.  Then he would torture my balls or my nipples to sort of 'ground' me again, then bring me right back close again.

Finally Daddy gave me permission to actually shoot my load, and I just remember feeling so tightly restrained, trying to lift my head or to see something, and having no control over what was happening, and then suddenly feeling heat on my chest and being exhausted and suddenly very aware of just how tightly I was tied down.  Daddy tormented me a bit at the end, but I had been a very good pup that week, so went a little light on me.

It was an amazing scene - I can't wait to do something like that again!  There is a video of the scene on XTube as well - the load I shot felt EVERY bit as good as it looks on video!!

Video - Straight Boy Bound

A few months ago I was on a work trip and ended up with a nicer suite in one of the high-rise towers on the strip, so I decided to make use of it with a local boy who wanted some bondage time. Cruising around on the net turned up this boy who has a girlfriend and a secret: he likes to be abused by guys. 

He was a bit nervous when he arrived, which I damn well enjoyed, but we easily got down to business after I told him to go to the bathroom and clean himself out with the kit I provided him. 

Because he said in his profile that he liked to be photographed and video taped as a part of a scene, I thought I would give him a twist: the photos were going out on twitter as the scene went on. You can see all of the tweets from that time by going to the past post: 20 Tweets of the Straight Boy

We ended up having four difference scenes that night, but decided to give you only video of two of them, which ended up really highlighting just how intense of a scene I was making for this boy. 

Now you know why I like to travel for work :)

Direct Link to Video
http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=e4Gu8-G771-